Yo dont text me then not text me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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