just tell him i said nine months
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just google imaged poop.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
