My cat gives me a boner
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
