wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
