oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
