Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
