Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fuck appropriateness.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
