i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
