I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
