babies were throwing up all over the place
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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