And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
