Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
