i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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