No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
