...so i touched it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
