if i can run in heels then i can drive
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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