yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
