I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
