It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
