i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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