Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
