none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
