she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We had sex on a dog bed..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
