yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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