there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
