Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
