I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
