I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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