believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
