What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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