3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
