a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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