why do cheetos always look like penises
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
