And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
