I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
