Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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