Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
