lets start a swedish sibling band together
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
