I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
