so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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