that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
birth control should be required to get into college
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
