I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
