don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
