i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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