Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
