Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
