I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I bet he comes in French.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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