I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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