i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
