so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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