I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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