They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
